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Since the very beginning of this ill-fated project, we’ve been dreading a rewatch of Austin Powers in Goldmember, and let’s just say it didn’t disappoint. Join us as we discuss how Goldmember makes Fat Bastard look like one of the great characters of literary history, and why we’re relieved that there’s still (knock on wood) no sign of a fourth movie on the horizon. We’ll be back by the end of the month with a movie that, somehow, seems like a breath of fresh air at this point: The Cat in the Hat.
00:00:00 Austin Powers in Goldmember Theatrical Trailer
00:03:51 Shrek Inspiration Maurice Tillet
00:05:25 Picture This Scene, but with Mike Myers‘ Cat in the Hat
00:15:17 Probably the Worst Thing That Ever Happened to Britney Spears
00:19:01 Wow, Kevin Spacey’s Here
00:25:16 “Daddy Wasn’t There”: Not Ming Tea‘s Finest Hour
00:31:47 Austin and Nigel Converse in “English English”
00:32:33 The Only Two Things Nigel Can’t Stand
00:42:32 Nathan Lane in His Underutilized Role as a Beyonce Stand-In
00:47:17 The Joke-Like “Shmoke and a Pancake” Scene
00:50:24 Great, Now We Have to Think about Dr. Evil Stimulating His Nipples Every Time We Listen to ELO
00:51:07 Somehow Dr. Evil’s Rap is Even More Interminable in This Movie than in the Other One
00:52:35 Our Bad, It’s Actually Michael York Who Yells “Shut Up” in the Godawful Mole Scene (Still a Shining Light of the Film, Though)
00:53:10 A Clever Use of Old Michael Caine Footage Wasted on a Stupid-Ass Twist
00:54:20 Even in Submarine Form, Mike Myers Farts When Submerged in Water
00:55:31 This Scene is 100% Funnier if You Imagine It Actually Happening to Mike Myers
00:58:28 Some Classic Fat Bastard Wit
00:58:55 We’ll Spare You This Fat Bastard Scene
00:59:47 You Know What Part We’re Talking About
01:02:42 The Subtitles Gag ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
01:03:21 Austin Speaking for All of Us Again
01:03:36 Manneken Pis
01:03:44 “The classic scene from the movie ‘Austin Powers in Goldmember,’ where Austin kicks the urinating water fountain plug out and then pees to make it look like the plug is still in”
01:05:31 Ozzy Speaks for All of Us
01:06:32 Austin Powers Murders Mini-Me
01:07:02 The Only Actually Funny Part of Goldmember
01:11:05 Gotta Get a Mike Ass In Before the Credits
01:12:12 John Travolta‘s Superior Goldmember Performance
01:12:30 Scott Speaks for All of Us
01:13:35 Fat Bastard’s Jared Reference Brings the Number of Sex Offenders in Goldmember Up to Two
01:14:55 “Hey Goldmember” by Foxxy Cleopatra featuring Devin and Solange (from Austin Powers in Goldmember: Music from the Motion Picture, 2002)
